Holy shit. Can you imagine? You’re in the top ten in points per game in the NHL on the last day of the season thinking you’re going to net a cool $2 million bonus for that accomplishment.

Never mind. Sorry. Instead Edmonton’s Leon Draisaitl goes out and grabs a pair of last minute points on Sunday, which knocks you out of the top ten by 0.01. Poof. Two million fucking dollars, gone.

AND you’re in Buffalo.

Seriously, how does Eichel not go all Barry Sanders on us and retire early right on the spot? He should just walk right into GM Tim Murray’s office like Mox did to coach Bud Kilmer in Varsity Blues. Except instead of saying you’ll leave if he sticks your buddy with a needle you say “I’m Jack Eichel and I’ll leave if you don’t stick that venomous needle in my neck to numb the pain”. At the very least he’s got to go to grief counseling over this. But I tell ya, losing $2 million would kill an ordinary man. I’m not sure I could handle it. It’d be real hard to talk me off that ledge.

I guess at the end of the day it can only go up from here for Eichel if he can get out of Buffalo and completely start over. The guy is a bonafide NHL stud. He’ll land on his feet.

And if you need it, there will always be a stall waiting for you with open arms back in Boston, Jack.

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