I have a recurring dream. 

Every now and then I’ll dream I’m in the locker room getting ready for the big game. But I can’t tie my skates. I can’t find my helmet. I can’t get ready fast enough. 

Then I hear the crowd erupt as the puck drops with the championship on the line and I’m still stuck scrambling in the locker room to get dressed. It’s taking forever. I miss half the game, we’re down a couple goals, we start a comeback. But we run out of time. It’s my fault.

With the news today of Jimmy Hayes heading for a buyout (which I obviously said would happen two months ago) the Tyler Seguin trade has officially taken over as my most haunting recurring hockey nightmare. 

No more missing a championship game because I’m stuck in glue putting my gear on. This is now the real nightmare.

What an absolute shitshow.

Every single player the B’s acquired for Tyler Seguin is gone. For nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Fuck me.

What’s worse, the Bruins should have just buried Hayes in the AHL. Albeit small, they’re now taking on an unnecessary and avoidable cap penalty. But Hall of Famer himself, J.J., isn’t going to pay good money for Jimmy to ride the bus.

Still, I wish you buried him, Don.

I will probably never get over the Tyler Seguin trade because the return was so brutally painful. Any solid return and I live with it. But I can’t stomach the debacle it became.

And when Peter Chiarelli is standing over the ashes of the nuclear holocaust he is going to create in Edmonton I’m not even sure I’ll be able to laugh at it. It’ll just be a painful reminder that leaves me in a PTSD cold sweat when I wake from the Seguin trade nightmare.

I need a drink.

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